Berman & Asbel, LLP

Moving from separation to divorce when children are involved

One psychoanalyst and author who works with children and divorcing parents tells couples who are contemplating divorce to be mindful of their actions as parents who are trying to do right by their children can cause more problems by prolonging a separation. Pennsylvania parents who are facing the end of their marriages could help minimize negative results for their children by making decisions and being upfront with their offspring.

Taking the time to consider a relationship and one's options is important especially when one has children, but some parents begin to make mistakes once a separation happens. This typically occurs when one or both parents want a divorce but hesitate for reasons that could include emotional turmoil or outside forces. Children know something is going on when one parent moves out but can become confused when a separation lasts for months or years without progress. This distracts many children who continuously wonder if their parents are getting back together or not.

Children want to know what is happening and need answers about the future. Making the decision to divorce in a timely manner is often better than letting children worry for a prolonged period as both parents can instead work together to ensure that the process is easier on children. Counseling or mediation may help in this regard.

Once the divorce process begins, parents can focus on issues like physical custody and how to best accommodate their children. If parents cannot come to an agreement on one or multiple points, a judge may have to make determinations instead. Even if disputes arise, family law attorneys will advise their clients that attempting to focus on the best interests of a child or children is important.

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